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Riley C. Bolt's avatar

Was never a Trekkie, so can't comment on your DS9 lore here. However, like you I was a HUGE X-Men fan growing up. I always thought that the Magneto/Rogue romance was itself a gigantic call-out to exactly what you are talking about here.

Rogue herself, due to her mutation, never really got the chance to learn this inoculation against bad men. Thanks to her powers, she was forced to push EVERYONE away by reflex and from a pretty young age. Meaning that if anyone was persistent enough to simply ignore her attempts to keep them at arms length and continue to pursue anyway, well not only did she lack the necessary defenses but in truth she was so touch and affection starved that she instead possessed a critical weakness.

Enter Gambit and later Magneto. No need to beat a dead horse, Kristin already covered the issues with Magneto perfectly. Instead, let's focus in on those early years with Gambit.

Now while arguments can be made thanks to the continuing story that Gambit eventually cleaned up his act, back then that was absolutely not the case. He was every bit a dark triad personality, taking part in events like the Mutant Massacre because it benefited him. But he was handsome and charming, with just the right amount of Cajun accent to make it interesting and quirky rather than incomprehensible.

He was the absolute worst thing for Rogue back then, and yet because she possessed no defenses against him, she of course fell head over heels for him. Literally the only thing that saved her was her powers making it impossible for her to touch him without killing him. He had her essentially in the palm of his hand for years, and while their stormy romance and UST provided a mountain of entertainment for the readers, it also worked unintentionally well to provide any young ladies that roadmap for what to look out for.

And then of course, Marvel did the worst possible thing with it and started softening Gambit up, providing that false "I can fix him!" hope that Kristin spoke about. Last I had checked in on the comics, the two of them are married now. Whereas in reality, the end result of their relationship should have been her tossing him into orbit a long time ago.

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Gail Finke's avatar

The only thing I would add to this excellent piece is that this kind of story ought to help women differentiate between the distorted good qualities a really bad man has when she see them in a good man. A good man is strong (in character, if not always physically). He will fight for his family and what he loves. He will defend and provide for his wife and children, but not by dominating and hurting them. He will partner with his wife and defer to her expertise without ordering her around or requiring her to nag him. He will treat his wife differently from all other women, but without being jealous or insecure. Far too many girls and women either can't tell the difference, or want those things so much they will take a bad version of them.

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