It would be an easier life, I think, if I could somehow not believe in God.
People who think humans are merely highly intelligent, sparsely-haired primates can explain the way women are and what we’re for any number of ways, coming to a far more flattering conclusion than I have.
But if you believe in an omniscient, all-seeing creator who formed humans in His own image with great care and purpose, then it simply isn’t enough to shrug and laugh. “Women, amiright?”
I am not in a good place as I write this, and it was probably a mistake to think deeply about what anonymous males on Twitter say about women. But there’s just so many of them and they all say such similar things.
And what they say so closely matches what I have seen myself. Maybe the bile they spew bears closer examination, even if it hurts.
Even if you end the night with Googling: “Catholicism, do women have souls?”
You Know You Like It
We really do like it, don’t we? Being stepped on. When you think about it, there simply isn’t another explanation when you look at the global, historical behavior patterns of what we seek out and what we tolerate, even after the thrill is long gone.
From a Christian perspective, submission and obedience is the right and proper way of the female, meaning the role of the male is one of dominion. Anyone raised in any kind of Christian church knows that. It’s not even controversial.
Men lead, women follow.
Men give, women receive.
Men impregnate, women become pregnant.
It’s not the dynamic I’m questioning. It’s the reasoning behind it, mostly because of the sexual aspect of the male-female relationship, less so for the child-rearing part of it.
The sex, the desire for it (primarily from men) is the main driver for relationships to even exist.
There have been so many men who have said right out loud that if it were not for the sex—and their all-consuming thirst for it—they would have nothing to do with us at all.
And yet we still seek them out, looking for the one man who likes us, actually. It sounds simple. But it’s not.
Because we have desires of our own.
A healthy sexual dynamic between a man and woman will generally include his desire to possess or conquer her, and her desire to be possessed or conquered. However, this desire is very specific... he wants to conquer a woman who wants to be conquered by HIM, and she wants to be conquered by a specific man because she believes he deserves her. Their desires align.
The degenerate man desires to conquer a very specific category of woman: the woman who rejects him.
He has no interest in the woman who desires him. He has no desire to be worthy of anything or anyone. He delights in the core practice of his degeneracy: imposition. It is seeing her repulsed but helpless is what excites him because he is a sadist. That is the core of male sexual degeneracy: sadism. (@Dvorstone on X)
That sounds so nice. And it makes sense.
The majority of men, after all, do not prefer to buy prostitutes and disdain those who subscribe to an OnlyFans cam-whore. That’s not a conquest; it’s a transaction. It’s not manly.
And deep down, they know the hooker doesn’t really want them, cheapening the experience even more.
The conquering is only fun, only worth it, if she wants him. If she wants what he plans to do to her.
The degradation of women during sex is baked into the process, a fact that neither men nor women likes to admit. We all agree on the lie that actions like expelling body fluids onto someone's face and/or into their mouth, pinning a person so they are immobile, and sticking foreign objects into someone's throat until retching occurs are not behaviors indicating respect or esteem.
They are actions of domination, of destruction--yet they are actions that women desire.
But why do we want it? What exactly went into our construction to make us want, NEED, to be ruled?
It sure as hell wasn’t sugar and spice.
What is it that makes us, in the millions, read books that feature these tropes as a means of sexual arousal:
Stalking (Hello, Haunting Adeline)
Cheating/infidelity
Serial killer
Nonconsensual/Dubious consent
Bully
Mafia
BDSM
Knife play (seriously wtf)
Kidnapping (Oh, hey 365)
Primal play
Somnophilia
Those are the most popular tropes in dark romance, something I’ve talked about before.
I have to. I’m compelled to talk about it. Mostly because I like it too and I don’t understand why.
The Sixth Day
It would be a mean thing, a cruel thing, to make a creature for servitude while giving them a drive for conquest.
Luckily, it seems the Almighty spared us this cruelty. He even gave us an inborn psychological defense mechanism against the subjucation--arousal at acts of domination.
As I said in the beginning, things would be easier if I were an atheist, or could even fathom being so.
I know there are other religions with other origin stories. But they don’t count. Not to me. Sorry.