...when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you." - Friedrich Nietzsche
Sometimes my online friends I met through Catholic Twitter will ask about my books, expressing interest in reading them, and I am placed in an awkward position.
You see, one of my series isn’t very Catholic. And even well-read people can sometimes make the mistake of imagining an author approves of and practices everything they write about.
That isn’t true by the way. Many authors write from the perspective of characters who are deeply flawed and wrong about a lot of things.
Sometimes we write about things that scare us too, especially those of us in the paranormal genres.
There is a story arc in season 3 of HBO's True Blood involving witches, both traditional female-led European witchery as well as a specific Central American brand of Brujeria, a distinctively male craft. I hadn't even known at that time there were such a thing as male witches, particularly in Mexico, which has a very strong machismo culture.
So, as it often does, the idea took hold in my brain and I got more curious about it. It didn't hurt that the actor portraying the male witch, the brujo, was Kevin Alejandro, who is a delight to the senses.
But then my writer's mind took over. What if the brujo in question wasn't a handsome and kind person? What if he was awful? And what if he decided to specifically be awful to you? Well, that would be mighty scary.
Thus, the concept of Black Magic’s Prey was born, but I had work to do if I wanted to write a realistic book. Yes, even when you write about the paranormal, it needs to feel real. So I set about doing research on Central American brujos. Happily, there's a lot out there thanks to the thriving witch culture in Veracruz, Mexico. It's basically the Salem of Central America and they take magic, both white and black, very seriously.
Despite the fact that most of the information was in Spanish and automated translating functions were not as good back then, I managed to glean enough information to understand some of the most common spells, how brujos differ from curanderos/curanderas, and what victims of black magic practitioners commonly experience.
So I had the story, the research, the motivation.
The problem? Every time I started reading one of the books I'd bought, or went to one of the occult stores for inspiration, I felt an intense stab of fear, one that screamed at me I was in danger. Where did that come from?
Of course we all know where it came from. I was raised Catholic. And not one of those cafeteria Catholics either. And though my faith has waxed and waned over the years, there are some things that stick with you. One of them is the fear of studying anything evil, lest it study you in return.
Most modern witches (at least the ones who are open about their doings) practice white magic. But from a writer's perspective, that's no fun. I was researching the dark shit. The stuff that is designed to harm people and more often than not involves hurting and killing animals to do it. Some of it made me sick to my stomach.
And I wrote all of it down. I added the fear of the unknown, the smells and the nausea of seeing the remnants of black magic ceremonies. I wrote about the feelings of being isolated and unprotected because the Church you were told was almighty... didn’t help you when you really needed it.
In the darkness, you cried out… and there was no answer.
That in and of itself is frightening.
Writing about things that frighten you forces you to examine yourself and how you think. What you believe. And then it forces you to infuse all if it into your work.
It makes for good writing and for good reading, both of which translate to reflection and self-examination.
What does it mean when, just for a second, you wanted Luke to take Darth Vader’s outstretched hand?
What thoughts go through your mind in the closing scene of Sicario? What choice would you have made?
The stories you write are not perfect mirror images of you, either in your past or present.
So yeah… write what you know. But also write what you don’t want to know, what you hope you never encounter—the path you would never dream of treading.
You might discover something about yourself.
Listen…
The audiobook version of Paid by the Word is now available on Audible!
Great subject, and very true! When I was doing research for Bloodlines, my first ever vampire story, I found a LOT of info about Central and South American vampire lore I never knew existed. And while it didn't frighten me particularly, I found it fascinating that the legend of those who live off human blood and can use their charisma and beauty (real or perceived) as a lure, extended worldwide, not just in Europe and Russia.
To me, part of the joy of writing is doing the research and learning new things from the real world, that can be incorporated into stories to give them that touch of reality necessary for grounding and linking them to our fears of legend.