My Shameful Secret
I'm one of those useless Feds you keep hearing about
If you didn’t know, Kristin McTiernan is not my real name. And The Nonsense-Free Editor is not my full-time job. Neither is this Substack or my YouTube channels.
People usually find me through YouTube or my freelance business, so they forget I have a day job at all.
I am a federal employee, one who has worked at home for eight years. One of those lazy fucks you rail about online, sleeping the day away on my couch, eating bon bons on my rare moments of daylight wakefulness, and luxuriating in my outstanding medical insurance and generous retirement benefits.
That last part is true, I admit.
The rest of it, though… not so much. I get the anger at the “swamp,” the “deep state.” There’s a problem in this country, one perpetuated by unelected federal employees who, on the surface, might be compared to me. I get why people do it, even though it’s not fair.
Today is the deadline for DOGE’s buyout program, allowing federal employees to quit effective tomorrow (or retire) and still get their full pay and benefits through September. Additionally, all agencies are scrambling to enact the Return to Office mandate, including mine.
I still don’t know much. Including how many of my colleagues took the buyout, if any. The only thing I know for sure is that I will be returning to the physical office 5 days a week starting March 17… though it’s not clear which building I’ll be reporting to.
I’m not mad at the downsizing. But I do have a bone to pick with the slap-dash implementation of it, as well as being painted with the same brush as corrupt traitors to our country who pick my pocket to fund foreign terrorists.
I’m not a lifetime fed, so I thought I’d go through the jobs I had, both civil service and private sector, and compare the jobs, how taxing they were, and how many stupid, inept retards I was forced to share space with.
As a note, I was an English major, so none of my jobs involve curing cancer. A laptop job is all I’ll ever be qualified for. But if I can blow smoke for just a second, a few of them were mildly important.